Hola Mi Amor!

01.07.2026

Hola Mi Amor y HMA Family!

Como estas? How ya bee my loves? Today I am writing during my Creative Lab as part of our artistic expression for this week is creative writing. I am absolutely certain my subject matter will be far from what my girls are preparing.

This is Day 3 of our corporate 21 Days of Prayer & Fasting with my church and so far, it has been an incredible start. I couldn’t be more grateful for being in our fast while going through my current life “opportunities.” I’ve often said, not like most people would say “God why me,” but rather okay Lord- here we go! I am absolutely confident that God knows whatever He brings me through that I will give Him glory and share my testimony with anyone that will listen.

DISCLAIMER: Let me start by saying that this post may be triggering for some and inspiring to others. Continue to read at your own risk.

We have a lot of laws that are supposed to protect the innocent and vulnerable, yet when they were written they may not cover every possible scenario, nor will they grow with the times. I have suffered physical and sexual abuse before for years. While healing from domestic violence I learned how many other forms of abuse can be connected to them that I had never even considered them having a name or label to categorize them. Well during the pandemic, in a time when I had lost my mobility and was dependent on a wheelchair and transportation provided by my insurance to all of my appointments, I encountered a Lyft driver with ill intentions for me. The circumstances that I experienced I call a “virtual sexual assault.”

During that time it was seriously as if NO ONE could or would protect me in the manner that I needed to be. Not the police, not my family, not Lyft by taking responsibility for their driver’s actions, not the senators and state representatives that I contacted-

01.30.2026

thanks to my friend LySyin who is literally the Resource Warrior. Not ONE!!! And no one could shield me from the depth of the PTSD I was fighting from the inside out due to what happened to me. I was trapped in my own prison of fear in my mind, in my body with all of the traps and devices of Long Covid including being bound to a wheelchair through that season and locked within the confinements of my downtown apartment during the pandemic with the sounds of the defiant constantly racing down the streets and highway near the arch. No one…

I still say one of the biggest impacts of Covid and how it both ravaged through my body and our communities all over the world, was the spirit of fear that it released in our atmospheres and within the spirit man for starters. I can vividly remember smelling death, the sulfur of it’s evil prowling amongst me- lurking in our midst building brick by brick, lie by lie to consume and suffocate us. BUT God!!! Fear is not my future! Faith, fullness of life and healing is my portion! I praise God that I am an overcomer in Christ Jesus!!! Hallelujah!

For the purposes of this blog I’m going to try to stay on topic today and move on to this new for me type of abuse that 2025 brought into clear view toward its closure, but that starts with going back just a little further. In 2023 I was living in a lovely little house in The Hill here in St. Louis, MO. The owners decided they were going to sell the house so suddenly I not only was expected to let several strangers in my home regularly while I was still in a time of isolation and could not walk, but I was also forced to start packing in order to move. Yet the owner said I could stay if they didn’t sell so there was always this back and forth uncertainty. And then there were the lies and broken promises- the broken LAWS. Still to THIS very day and even after pursuing a small claims lawsuit- that couple has NEVER repaid me my security deposit of over $1000. Even by law if not paid one can be paid out DOUBLE for their trouble.

So here I am with one day left in January of 2026 and due to the latest form of community abuse I have been displaced from my home since December 8, 2025 and my current lease ends tomorrow. Living on a fixed income is- let me start with I am very grateful that is an absolute given. AND, this is not the life I desire financially to say the absolute least, and I am grateful! With the housing program that I am blessed to assist me with that is from BJC, not a lot of people are familiar with it or accept it because of that fact. Therefore the choices I have when searching for a new home is extra challenging. When you add time constraints to that- well, you get what I did this last time. You end up in the hood in a place you’d not imagined, yet due to previous head injuries didn’t even realize that you had already been before.

When I moved into this 2 family the temperature of the neighborhood was an orchestra of gunfire throughout the evening hours into the night. I thought Lord, why in the world did you place me here?! And I began to pray for my neighborhood and my neighbors. I started a porch ministry with my Mamba where I would sit out on my steps reading my bible at 5am and Mamba Kobe and I would pray for our city. We saw notable shifts in our neighborhood and still two years later. I met my neighbor’s daughter that lived above me and immediately felt a need to show her extra love.

My natural disposition is of joy, kindness and compassion and I LOVE to give so I saw that she could use a whole lot more of all of that. For the purposes of this I will call her “Kay.” I gave Kay clothes that no longer fit my daughter, shared baked goods with her, connected over dogs, laughs and the weather. Something about Kay always urged me to stay close to her like a mother and protect her through my presence and prayer. Her father is an angry, grumpy and unhappy man who “played” nice to my face, but noticeably always wanted to distance me from his daughter and not allow her to do all of the things she desired to and kept her stuck in the house.

While dealing with the extreme case of squatters for over 9 months that were living next door I really was asking God- Lord why am I still here? And, Lord I am ready to go when You release me to leave. My neighbor began taking trips out of town and would ask me to watch out for his then 15 year old daughter while he was gone. Kay was only left with a package of lunchmeat, not allowed to cook or leave and her dad would be gone between a weekend to 2 weeks at a time. During these stents I would make sure that Kay had hot meals and she would come and hang out with me- which meant that she was also being saturated in worship and the Word in my home. We baked, we ate, we laughed and talked about Jesus. I always invited them to church but he would never take her or give me permission to either.

Let me speed things up here… When we would go on walks Kay would never share exactly what was going on to her in the apartment above me, but just that “he does bad things” and that one day she was hoping to live with her older siblings. On 12.6.25 I was sitting in my living room on my couch texting my mentor when I started hearing horrible yelling, crying, banging and carrying on. I said hold on I need to intercede NOW! It sounded if maybe my neighbor had thrown his daughter or something down the stairs! Moments later I heard what was clearly Kay running down their stairs for dear life! She then began pounding on my door for help and safety. I jumped up- slipped and fell trying to hurry to the door. Quickly I got back to my feet and let her in locking the door behind us.

This was on a Saturday evening around 6pm. Immediately I got Kay ice, water, Tylenol and a blanket to try to comfort her. She was hysterical and couldn’t tell me anything for nearly an hour. The only time I heard her father’s footsteps down the steps and there followed the sounds of him locking his door and securing it with the board. An already angry man who has multiple firearms and is always talking about killing someone- including the squatters next door, and who has access to our shared back staircase and basement knows I have just taken his daughter in and the truth will be revealed to me… I covered Kay in prayer and we kept an atmosphere of worship as we tried to navigate the safest decisions to make during that time.

After staying gone all of Sunday, that evening we finally received a call of support. I prayed about a safe escape plan for both of us thanks to the suggestion of her support team. Monday morning after I saw and heard Kay was safely outside and made it to her pickup site I too left my home expecting to only be gone for maybe 2 days. Well when CPS and other authorities were made aware of the situation, Kay’s father automatically assumed that I was the one behind it all and sent his other daughter texts saying he was going to harm me! He wants to retaliate against me because he was exposed to being physically and sexually abusive to his very own daughter!

All of this plus the traffic in and out of his apartment captured by my ring camera was extremely alarming knowing his history. I got an ex parte and now full protection order since going to court at the beginning of this month. Remember I had asked God why I was still living there? Well Holy Spirit told me the day of our escape that it was for her. Anytime I might be gone for a few days Kay would be so concerned and text me or see me when I arrived back fearing that I had moved and didn’t tell her. I kept having “move” in my spirit for a few months prior but I wasn’t absolutely certain that I knew if that had multiple meanings in that season.

Now since December I have been actively looking for a new place to move while being displaced once again. I have prayed and declared that this will be the LAST time in my life that I am displaced like this in Jesus’ name! I was told if not moved by a specific date that I would lose my housing. Well today, one day before my lease is up my beautiful agent shared with me that the apartment that we were hoping for me to move into has now decided that they will no longer accept my housing voucher. BUT God! I told my daughter that I am standing flat footed on FAITH! I will NOT be moved! I am holding steadfast, ONLY believing for God’s best, ONLY trusting in God- His Will, His Ways and His Plan and Promises in His Word!!! God is not a man that He shall lie. His promises are yes and Amen!

So as I continue to wait for my deposit that will cover my move scheduled to arrive within the next week, I WILL TRUST God!!! Whatever it is that you are going through, whatever abuse that you have experienced or are currently experiencing, don’t accept the lies it’s trying to feed to you or the seeds of doubt it’s trying to plant on the inside of your mind. Stand firm on faith in God! Stand firm on truth!

Pray for me. I’m praying for you too! In this world of uncertainty, we still have the power, might, covering, peace and assurance of an unchanging, steadfast, All Mighty agape loving God of the universe, Creator of heaven and earth and all things in them! Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Trust in God and His power that lives within.

Be encouraged!!! If you’re reading this- God is not finished with you yet! Have a blessed day- On Purpose!

Love & Blessings,

Jana M. Gamble

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