Hola Mi Amor!

Body

(Probably a Pt. 1)

by Jana M. Gamble 

02.10.2025

I always had a figure that was different than the other girls of a lighter persuasion that I was raised amongst in that small Midwest town that I lived

Only painted lightly with a small population of color like someone being super stingy with the chocolate chips

Starting gymnastics at the age of 4 for 10 years I dealt with the comparisons of how I was built unlike the others

This is just one piece of this broken puzzle that lead to my darkest battles and insecurities plaguing me for decades even behind the smiles and mask of joy I loved to wear

I hated those tone, muscular legs and arms, but that booty I gladly accepted lol

How come her body is thin and slender, her voice soft and sweet while wearing the same thing and my body is deemed as strong and over sexualized with a voice 2 octaves deeper

So I walk strategically making sure nothing’s swaying, shaking or jiggling to attract unwanted attention but the cats’ still calling in my direction for some momentary affection 

My secret self hatred and lack of self love seduced my taste for dark love. “Love” that wasn’t worthy of my touch. “Love” that was persuasive, abrasive and perverse. A “love” that even prayed for him while in his lap I bowed. 

“Love” that was without respect, honor and loyalty. “Love” that didn’t lead me into anything but fear, anxiety and debts- spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially… 

Jesus wept. 

BUT God!!!

It wasn’t until this body and my will were truly broken that God was able to start making all the parts of me fall into place through my surrender. 

Tears fall fresh and joy overflows through every pore of my body. Gratefulness seals the largest organ of my being like epoxy on a brand new kitchen floor. Holiness I breathe and I am Holy because He said so. 

For this body is not my own- it’s all to Him I owe! With my arms I praise Him. With my feet I dance to give Him glory. Through these lips I honor and adore (Him). Always wanting more! ¡Dios es amor! ¡Dios es amor! ¡Dios es amor! 

Now I thank Him for this body and that through everything I’ve said, done, thought or threatened- He still wants me in His and in mine He lives! This joy I now have the world didn’t give me and it cannot take it away. I’m not going anywhere and He’s here to stay. 

Lord God I cry out to You again on this day- all I want is Your Will, Your Word and Your Way. 

#Body #Poem #PoeticFlow #JanaMGamble #HolaMiAmor #Joy #Love #Grateful #HealingOnPurpose #ImHoly #ImHis #WritingOnPurpose #Poetry #WalkByFaith